If You’re Unhappy As A Leader, Read This..
Insights and stories on leadership, sales, and performance from someone who’s been in the trenches.
Why are leaders unhappy despite success?
Leaders are unhappy despite success because of two main issues: (1) They’re not observing themselves and their life with precision—avoiding defining failure means they also haven’t defined success or progress, keeping them in a perpetual state of “not winning,” and (2) They’ve drifted from their standards (values)—without clear aim and direction, they can’t lead themselves, their family, their team, or their market. Most people avoid self-honesty because there’s a scary “unknown” on the other side, but this avoidance creates the very unhappiness they’re trying to escape.
How do you find happiness as a leader?
Find happiness as a leader by returning to your standards and asking two critical questions: (1) “What is my aim?”—get clear on where you’re going and why it matters, and (2) “Are my daily behaviors and choices in alignment with my aim?”—if there’s a gap, acknowledge it and make corrections. That’s what progress looks like. Anytime you hit a “rut” in life, the rut ceases when you return to your standards. This requires the internal leadership that decides “This is what I stand for and this is what I’m willing to tolerate.”
What does it mean to drift from your standards?
Drifting from your standards means you’ve kept things vague enough in your life to avoid “failure,” but without aim, you have no direction to navigate the world. You don’t know what to say “yes” to or “no” to. You’re lacking the internal leadership that decides “This is what I stand for and this is what I’m willing to tolerate.” Without this clarity, you can’t lead yourself, and if you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead your family, your team, or your market. The gap between identifying a problem and addressing it is where unhappiness grows.
How do you lead yourself before leading others?
Lead yourself before leading others by getting clear on your aim (where you’re going) and your standards (how you’ll get there). Ask yourself: “What is my aim?” and “Are my daily behaviors aligned with my aim?” If there’s a gap, acknowledge it and make corrections—that’s progress. Then ask “Why?”—Why do you do what you do? Is it a worthy cause? Is it worth the sacrifice of time, attention, and energy? If not, address that. You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself first.
Mitchell Miles
Dec 3, 2025 • 3 min read
As a Leader, if you’re consistently feeling unhappy, there are usually 2 things at play, and in some cases, not in play at all.
1- You’re not observing yourself and your life with precision.
Most people don’t.
Why?
It’s human nature.
There is a scary “unknown” on the other side of being honest with ourselves.
In order to NOT fail most people would rather avoid defining what failure looks like.
The problem with avoiding this means you haven’t defined what SUCCESS or progress looks like for you either.
So you stay in a perpetual state of “not winning”.
This isn’t better, because since you’re not moving forward, you’re still failing…
…you just haven’t labeled it with clarity yet.
2- You’ve drifted from your standard (aka values)
Even though you’re losing and unhappy, you’re still not doing #1.
That means you’ve kept things vague enough in your life to avoid “failure”.
So you have no aim…
And without aim, you have no direction to navigate the world…
What to say “yes” to.
Or “no” to.
You’re lacking the internal leadership that decides:
“This is what I stand for and this is what I’m willing to tolerate”.
So how can you lead yourself?
If you can’t lead you, then how can you lead your family?
Your team?
Your market?
Anytime I hit a “rut” in my life…
(I’ve noticed this in the people around me as well)
…The rut ceases when we return back to our standards.
This looks like asking yourself:
• “What is my aim?”
• “Are my daily behaviors and choices in alignment with my aim?”
If there’s a gap , acknowledge and make corrections.
That’s what progress looks like.
If you’re lacking the internal drive to make those corrections then you must ask yourself “WHY?”.
Why do you what you do? Is it a worthy cause?
Is worth the sacrifice of time, attention, energy?
If not, then you need to address that.
I’ll dive more into this in a future newsletter.
In the meantime, start with addressing what you’re aiming for and what your standards are.
As always, thank you for reading and being a part of my journey. I don’t take it lightly.
I’ll see you next week.
– The Miles Memo
-Mitchell Miles – CEO
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